Our Journey

For Better or Worse

Finding Out What I Already Know…

Finding out the results from my husband’s test yesterday was not a surprise. Although secretly, I was hoping for a better outcome.

Unfortunately my husband wasn’t able to come with me due to work commitments. Some would say that it isn’t fair for me to go alone, but under the circumstances, I didn’t mind. I wasn’t sure how my husband would have handled knowing that he had very little chance of giving me a child naturally.

I tried explaining the results to my husband over the phone without hurting his feelings. I don’t think I did a very good job at it, or at least did a good job explaining it to him as he said we’d discuss it when he got home or the following evening. (He had work commitments after work)

I’m sure that he’s disappointed and hurting inside, but he’s just not the type of person to come out with his feelings. Instead, he just keeps quite which is worse as I have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling! Does he think he’s dissapointed me? Does he think he’s incompetent? Is he in denial? Does he want to go through ICSI? I just don’t know!

It’s been over 24 hours since I’ve received the results and had ample of opportunity to discuss it with my husband, go through the forms provided to me, go through the procedure and timelines, but I haven’t had the courage to do so. All of the above thoughts are going through my mind. Maybe tomorrow I’ll discuss it with him.

Am I in denial? Am I hoping that the results might change?

Afraid so!

This morning, my best friend finally updated her Facebook status with: “Here we go again… 26 weeks to go!!” Another friend posted up a photo of their baby’s scan and 2 others had posted up photos of their new borns. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, I’m just feeling quite dissapointed that it’s not me!

September 28, 2012 - Posted by | Tests & Results | , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Take your time and do what feels right. I don’t log on to Facebook anymore because I see so many preg posts, bump pics and scans. Of course you are happy for them yet feel sad for yourself. It’s understandable. x

    Comment by Emilia | October 4, 2012 | Reply

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